The Chelsea Hotel Oral Sex Song
Walkin`up 23rd street I was tired and alone
It was late and my housemate would be asleep when I got home
A sign ahead glowing red said The Chelsea Hotel
Where Nancy and Sid Vicious and my friend Dave once dwelled
The street was black under my feet, which continued their walkin`
Though I was vaguely interested in the folks behind me talkin`
Two guys, maybe gay, wearin` raver type suits
And a girl wearing glasses, who looked kinda cute
Her hair was short and curly, she had a tatoo on her back
Which I could see ´cause her red shirt was sleeveless with straps
But I only saw this later, not on my first glance
But I could hear her talkin´ behind me, and as if by chance
She was tryin´ to describe a song I knew well
A Leonard Cohen Song about the Chelsea Hotel
And I smiled a smile to myself when she said:
"That`s the song where he talks about someone givin`im head
On a bed that`s unmade", and how the song was outrageous
And that`s when I got uncharacteristically courageous
I could`ve left the three of them laughin´ n´just gone on home
But I turned and I faced her and said: "Leonard Cohen?"
Just like that
She was shocked and surprised, but she looked very happy
That she now had a witness to back-up her story
She looked at me with her spectacled eyes and said:
"See, I told you" to the two other guys
My tale might have ended right there and then,
But we started talkin´ about Leonard Cohen
And how his lyrics were cool, and how he sang so sincere,
That it must have been true, and it happened right here
You know, usually women right off the bat don`t find me that great
But there we were laughin strong like we could really relate
And though we didn`t mention the headline it was alluded
That our conversation was better because her friends weren`t included
The guys were more into each other, at least that`s how `t seemed to me
I heard the faint knocking of opportunity
Although it`s easy for me now, upon my lookin´ back
To think of all the things I could`ve said to make me the mack
Just keep the sad truth in mind as I tell this to you
That we really only talked for a minute or two
And I never got her name, and she never got mine
But in this couple short minutes we had a pretty good time
And on top of that, though you may not believe it
Was what she said to me next, I`ll repeat it:
"That line about gettin´ a blowjob that Leonard sings"
She said it made her want to do naughty things
And right about then I shoulda´ve asked her if she knew
What the Chelsea charged if we got a room for two
But I didn´t, and I know, I´m a schmuck, don´t you doubt it
The only thing I did was write this stupid song about it
If I was Leonard Cohen, or some other song-writing master
I shoulda´ve first get the oral sex and then write the song after
You can practice writing songs about romance every day
But if you haven´t loved, then you´ll have nothing to say
We could´ve given each other head on Leonard`s same unmade bed,
But I was too shy to suggest it, and so instead
When the three of them stopped to look throug a pub window
I said "Good night", though I hadn´t quite meant to
And waved as we walked, so I wouldn´t forget her
Specially when she mysteriously said "See you later"
So now every time I´m walkin´ I hope that we´ll meet
And on purpose I always go up the 23rd street
Where the sign glowing red says The Chelsea Hotel
Where Nancy and Sid Vicious and my friend Dave once dwelled
For life doesn´t work out the way it does in old songs
That`s why I sing new ones to say what really goes on
So if I could see her again and pick up right where we ended
Maybe I´ll play her the song, and maybe she wouldn´t get too offended
Now listen and I´ll tell you why:
There´s more to this situation than meets the eye
You may think it´s sad, you may think it´s pathetic
That I sing this song, and that she´ll never know it
But think a minute about what that means
And you´ll realize it´s actually a wonderful thing
That all around the world there may be folks singin´ tunes
For the love of other folks that they barely knew
And it puts a smile upon my face, yes it do (!)
And let me tell you, you oughta be smilin´ too
Because the next time you´re feelin´ kinda lonesone and blue
Just think that someone somewhere might be singin´ about you
So, who knows, if I ever see her again, maybe we´ll see
This whole time she coul´ve been singin´ about me
Probably not, but it could be.